\by Marguerite Kearns
I can remember how I started thinking, well after I started on this trail—“Is it possible to have an equal, or peer marriage, within a top-down social system??
More often than not, I was greeted with the response…”That’s a provocative question.” It certainly started us thinking, and I wasn’t impressed with the result. The recommendations for change were categorized as “reform” rather than anything else. These recommendations for approval, were more in the category of shifts, welcome but not without reservations. It makes the contemporary social structure stronger rather than not maintain some opinionated individuals.
ENTER WRITER AND PROFESSOR PEPPER SCHWARTZ
Enter Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor, who in 1994 asked a pivotal question involving “Love between Equals.” The book’s subhead? How Peer Marriage Really Works.” Men are leaping into sex change operations to become women. But not as many women decide to become men by the same method.
Gay couples have the least trouble entering Peer Marriages. The author speculates that they have the least to lose when transforming themselves into the opposite gender. It’s the traditional marriage advocates that have the most trouble. We’re in a transitional period right now. The “make America great” advocates are saying that we miss the way things used to be, back when women were taken for granted and were “used” rather than considered equal to men or anyone else. The underlying theme isn’t as overt as this. But the idea and possibility has currency just the same.
SOME THINGS CHANGE WHILE THE CONTEXT REMAINS THE SAME
Pepper Schwartz admits that peer relationships are making headway even if the “equality now” supporters are few and far between. Schwartz wonders about the answer to the above question. What about the traditional marriage where men have the upper hand and the support/criticism from both sides of the fence aren’t as strong as they once were?
We women meet more peer and near-peer men who value intimate friendship in marriage. They participate in their children’s rearing than ever before. But they love the past as much as they support the shifts of the moment,
The roots of misogeny go deep, even to the feminine psyche. And women can be as confused at everyone else. But the present-day leanings and tendencies will take a long long time to change.
Suffrage Wagon News Channel, or SuffrageWagon.org, has been publshing since 2009.
